Providing a Sense of Purpose

Connecting with a person living with dementia can often begin with a simple conversation—especially when that conversation centers around something meaningful to them. Talking about their interests, past experiences, or cherished memories is a powerful way to engage. But beyond conversation, what else can make their day truly fulfilling?

Meaningful Activities for People with Dementia

Sometimes, it’s the ordinary things that matter most.

Think about the routines we all follow each day—making breakfast, watering the plants, folding laundry. These tasks may seem small or mundane, but they serve a bigger purpose. They ground us. They give our days structure and meaning. Often, we do them without even realizing their significance.

For someone with dementia, these everyday activities can offer that same sense of purpose. In fact, feeling useful—no matter how small the task—is deeply important, especially when someone is navigating cognitive or physical challenges. A sense of usefulness boosts self-esteem, reduces feelings of helplessness, and contributes to overall well-being.

Simple routines like setting the table, brushing a pet, or helping fold clothes aren’t just chores—they’re opportunities. Opportunities to feel included, to participate, and to contribute.

By encouraging and supporting these small daily activities, caregivers can help create moments of connection and joy. And in those moments, a person with dementia can experience something we all deserve—a good day, with purpose and meaning.

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How to Easily Connect with a Person Who Has Dementia

Talking to someone with dementia can feel a little tricky at first, especially if you’re unsure what to say or how to keep the conversation going. But with the right dementia communication techniques, it becomes much easier to engage in meaningful conversations that make both of you feel connected.

The key is understanding that conversations with someone who has dementia are different. Memory loss can make certain questions challenging, and topics might need to be adjusted. But that doesn’t mean real, heartfelt conversations aren’t possible.

How to talk to someone with dementia

If you’re wondering how to talk to someone with dementia, here are a few easy and effective ways to make interactions smoother and more enjoyable:

1. Talk About Their Life Story

Knowing a little about their past can help you guide conversations. You could say, “Mrs. Nichols, your daughter mentioned you were married for 52 years. That’s incredible! What was your wedding like?”

2. Use Objects Around Them

A familiar object can spark conversation. “Alice, I see a beautiful wooden boat on your shelf. Did you make that?”

3. Discuss Everyday Things

Even small talk works well. “We’re having mashed potatoes today—my favorite! Do you like them too?”

4. Share a Bit About Yourself

Showing something personal, like a family picture, can help. “This is my daughter, Jessica. She went to a dance last night! Did you like dancing?”

5. Offer a Genuine Compliment

Everyone loves a nice compliment. “Your hair looks lovely today!”
The main goal is to make them feel heard and respected. Even if they repeat stories, let them share. It’s not about the details—it’s about making them feel valued.

Tips for Dementia Caregivers

For caregivers, communication is not just about talking—it’s about listening, adapting, and making each interaction positive. Some useful dementia communication techniques include:

• Keep sentences short and simple.
• Avoid correcting them if they forget something.
• Be patient and give them time to respond.
• Use a calm and friendly tone.

Even when words fail, non-verbal cues like smiling, gentle touches, and eye contact can help create a warm connection.

Why Effective Communication Matters

Using effective communication with Alzheimer’s patients can make daily interactions smoother and more fulfilling. When you focus on positive engagement, you help reduce frustration for both yourself and the person with dementia. Dementia communication techniques aren’t just about words—they’re about connection.

By following these simple steps, you can create meaningful moments with your loved one, even in the face of memory loss.

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Everything Is an Opportunity to Connect

People living with dementia have the same need for connection as everyone else. Every interaction—whether during dressing, meals, or daily activities—is an opportunity to engage with them in a meaningful way. Connecting with dementia patients isn’t just about completing tasks; it’s about making them feel valued and involved.

Creating Meaningful Moments

Instead of rushing through daily routines, turn them into moments of engagement:
• While dressing, offer choices: “Do you like the blue shirt or the pink one?”
• During room cleaning, invite them to help: “Want to hand me the blankets?”
• When serving food, add a personal touch: “Here’s your spaghetti with two meatballs, just how you like it!”

These small efforts can make a big difference in connecting with dementia patients and making them feel included.

Using Life History for Connection

Many care facilities use a life history in dementia care form to learn about residents’ past experiences, hobbies, and preferences. If one doesn’t exist, speaking with family members or creating a memory box with personal items can help build deeper connections. Knowing a person’s background is key to person-centered care and helps caregivers engage in ways that are meaningful to them.

Everyone Can Make a Difference

Engagement isn’t just the responsibility of activity staff. Whether you’re a caregiver, cook, or administrator, you can play a role in connecting with dementia patients:

• A cook can share a meal and reminisce with residents.
• An administrator who enjoys knitting can sit and knit with a resident who shares the same interest.
• A simple greeting like “I’m so happy to see you this morning!” can set a positive tone for the day.

Encouraging Independence

Maintaining self-worth and independence is crucial in dementia support. Instead of doing everything for them, involve them in their own care:

• Let them pick an outfit or button their shirt.
• Compliment their choices: “This color looks amazing on you!”
• While brushing their hair, make it fun: “Let’s make you look even more fabulous today!”

When we focus on connecting with dementia patients, we create moments of joy, dignity, and purpose. And that’s what truly matters in person-centered care.

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New Way of Caregiving by Connecting with the Person

What does it mean to “make a connection” with the people with dementia? It means that you have done something with or for them where they show signs of awareness, comfort, appreciation, or enjoyment. It means that you have found a way to reach them and to have a meaningful moment with them.

Let’s look at two examples of ways to approach a task like giving someone with dementia a shower. In the Common Approach example, Flo, a home health aide, uses a common, task-oriented approach to give Lee (a character with Alzheimer’s) a shower.

Example – 1

Getting ready for a shower may seem simple, but for someone with dementia, it can feel overwhelming. Caregiving for dementia patients requires patience, reassurance, and a calm approach.

• “Let’s get ready to take your shower, okay?” Towels and clothes are prepped, glasses are removed, and permission is asked before each step.
• But then, hesitation kicks in—“Oh, no. I don’t wanna get in the water.” Lee becomes uneasy, showing signs of discomfort.

Despite the gentle approach, there’s clear resistance. The process continues, but is she truly feeling comfortable and understood? This is where person-centered dementia care can make all the difference.

Example – 2

The difference in approach is clear. Instead of focusing on the shower, the caregiver engages Lee in a conversation about things she enjoys—her family, past events, and even a wedding. This shift keeps her mind occupied and eases her into the routine without resistance.

• The caregiver avoids mentioning the shower at first, instead chatting about a new car, family, and fun memories.
• When Lee starts feeling uneasy, the conversation smoothly redirects to more comforting topics like food, weather, and weekend plans.

By keeping the conversation natural and engaging, Lee stays relaxed and less resistant. Using dementia communication strategies makes everyday tasks smoother and more positive. The CARES approach for dementia focuses on improving communication with dementia patients, helping them feel safe and understood.

Conclusion

Caring for someone with dementia isn’t just about getting things done—it’s about making them feel comfortable and understood. By shifting the focus from the task to the person, like chatting about family or favorite memories, caregivers can turn stressful moments into positive ones. The CARES approach for dementia shows that a little patience and good conversation can go a long way in reducing anxiety in dementia patients and making everyday care feel natural and easy. It’s not just about the shower—it’s about the connection.

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Assessment and Care Planning: Putting It All Together

Caring for a person with dementia requires ongoing assessment and care planning to ensure their evolving needs are met while fostering trust between caregivers and individuals.

Understanding Assessment and Care Planning

Assessment gathers information from multiple sources, including the person, family, and care providers, to create a written care plan that adapts as their condition changes. Key components include:

• Ongoing assessment
• Life history documentation
• Advance planning
• Effective communication

Ongoing Assessment

Assessment is a continuous process, gathering real-time and long-term insights from:

• The person with dementia
• Care partners, caregivers, and direct care providers
• Clinical records and observations

Assessments should occur:

• Upon entry into care
• Every six months
• After hospitalization or major changes in health
• When relocating within a facility
• If a new medical condition arises

Learning Life History

Understanding a person’s past enhances care quality. Gather details such as:

• Career, accomplishments, and important life roles
• Significant events, joys, and losses
• Favorite foods, routines, and hobbies
• Spiritual, cultural, and coping practices
• Meaningful relationships, places, and objects

Document and update this information regularly to personalize care.

Advance Planning for Quality Care

A care plan should emphasize dignity, respect, and choice at every stage. Early discussions help ensure the person’s values, preferences, and care goals are honored. Topics to cover include:

• Cultural and spiritual beliefs
• Quality of life expectations
• Medical and end-of-life decisions

Effective Communication in Care Planning

Dementia care is a team effort involving:

• The person with dementia and their family
• Nurses, doctors, caregivers, and therapists
• Administrators and support staff
• Activity, housekeeping, food service, and security teams

Regularly updating and sharing the care plan ensures all team members stay informed and aligned.

Person-Centered Care for Better Outcomes

Ongoing assessment and planning support individualized, compassionate care that respects personal history and dignity. A structured approach like CARES® strengthens connections and enhances quality of life for those living with dementia.

Explore our training programs to learn more about best practices in dementia care!

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The CARES® Approach Can Save You Time!

Caring for someone with dementia can be challenging, but the CARES® Approach makes it easier by reducing stress and improving efficiency. Instead of adding extra steps, CARES streamlines caregiving, making interactions smoother and more rewarding.

Saving Time with CARES®

Many assume CARES takes extra effort, but it actually saves time by preventing misunderstandings, reducing agitation, and fostering better communication. Caregivers who use CARES find their work more effective and less frustrating, allowing them to anticipate and meet needs more efficiently.

The Power of Connection

Building and maintaining connections is key in dementia care. Once a connection is made, it’s vital to sustain it by:

1. Using nonverbal cues – Facial expressions, gestures, and tone help reinforce trust.

2. Practicing patience – Give time for expression and acknowledge emotions.

3. Reconnecting when needed – If a disruption occurs, calmly start over.

A More Rewarding Experience

Using the CARES Approach helps caregivers reduce stress, improve interactions, and find more joy in their work. By focusing on meaningful connections and practical strategies, caregiving becomes not just a responsibility but a fulfilling experience for both the caregiver and the individual receiving care.

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Respecting Differences in Dementia Care

Every person receiving care is unique, with different backgrounds, cultures, beliefs, and identities. As caregivers, embracing these differences fosters meaningful connections and ensures compassionate, person-centered care.

Why Respecting Differences Matters

Recognizing and valuing diversity as well as respecting differences in dementia care helps build trust and comfort for those living with dementia. Whether differences stem from culture, language, religion, or personal identity, understanding them strengthens the caregiver-patient relationship and enhances the quality of care.

Self-Reflection in Caregiving

Caregivers should ask themselves:

1. Do I acknowledge and respect each person’s background and identity?

2. Am I open to different definitions of family and relationships?

3. Do my personal beliefs affect the way I treat those in my care?

By reflecting on these questions, caregivers can ensure they provide unbiased and inclusive support.

Approach with Understanding

Instead of focusing on differences, find common ground—shared interests, hobbies, or past experiences. Simple acts of respect, like acknowledging cultural preferences or using familiar phrases, make a significant difference in a person’s comfort and well-being.

Intimacy and Dementia

Love and companionship remain essential, even as dementia progresses. Changes in intimacy and affection are natural, and caregivers should approach these situations with empathy. If behaviors become challenging, gentle redirection, structured routines, and family involvement can help.

Providing the Best Possible Care

Respecting individual differences is not just about tolerance—it’s about creating an environment where every person feels valued, understood, and safe. A mindful, inclusive approach ensures that those living with dementia receive care that honors their unique identity and life experiences.

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How Does Your Approach Feel to Others?

How Does Your Approach Feel to Others?

You learned about the Positive Physical Approach in Key #2. To truly understand its impact, try this simple exercise:

1. Sit in a chair and ask a friend or co-worker to approach you quickly.

2. Have them lean over your head and give you a command without greeting you or saying your name first.

3. Pay attention to how this makes you feel—startled, uncomfortable, or even anxious.

Now, repeat the exercise using the Positive Physical Approach:

1. Have the person approach you calmly from the front, at eye level.

2. They should greet you by name or offer a friendly gesture before making a request.

3. Notice the difference—how much more comfortable and respected you feel.

This simple adjustment in approach can significantly improve communication with people, especially those living with dementia.

CARES Tips!

Focus on What People Can Do

Care interactions should not always be led by the caregiver. Instead, focus on the abilities that people still have and encourage them to participate in activities they enjoy. By asking them to show you how to do something they love, you empower them, boost their self-esteem, and create meaningful engagement.

For example, if a person enjoys folding clothes, let them help with laundry. If they like gardening, invite them to water plants. Small moments like these bring joy and a sense of purpose to their day—and yours.

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Keys to Success with CARES® Approach

As you apply the CARES® Approach, you’ll discover that some strategies work better than others. Here are 10 essential keys to success when caring for people with dementia.

Key#1: Be Patient, Slow, and Calm

Patience is crucial in dementia care. Accept that things won’t always go as planned and maintain a calm environment. Slowing down can prevent frustration for both you and the person you’re caring for.

Key#2: Approach in a Nonthreatening Manner

First impressions matter. A gentle approach, like the Positive Physical Approach by Teepa Snow, helps build trust and connection.

Key#3: Be Mindful of Nonverbal Communication

People with dementia rely on tone, facial expressions, and body language. A warm smile or calm voice speaks louder than words, conveying comfort and reassurance.

Key#4: Use Positive Language

Avoid saying “No” or “Don’t.” Instead, rephrase instructions in a supportive way to encourage cooperation without causing distress.

Key#5: Never Argue

Trying to reason with someone with dementia often leads to frustration. Their reality is as real to them as yours is to you—meet them where they are.

Key#6: Show Respect and Dignity

People with dementia deserve to be treated as adults. Include them in conversations, ask permission before assisting, and never talk about them as if they aren’t present.

Key#7: Focus on Strengths

Even as abilities decline, people retain strengths. Encouraging independence in small ways boosts self-esteem and enhances quality of life.

Key#8: Offer Simple Choices

Giving limited options—like choosing between two outfits or meals—helps maintain a sense of control without overwhelming them.

Key#9: Avoid Quizzing or Testing

Instead of asking, “Do you remember me?” introduce yourself every time. Set them up for success, not embarrassment.

Key#10: Balance Structure with Flexibility

Routine provides stability, but flexibility is key. If a person resists an activity like bathing, try again later instead of forcing it.

By embracing these keys to success, caregivers can create a supportive, respectful, and comforting environment for people living with dementia.

The CARES® approach is the foundation of HCI’s training programs, empowering caregivers to provide compassionate, person-centered dementia care. For more resources, visit HCI’s website.

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Using the CARES® Approach for Daily Activities

For people with dementia, everyday tasks can become challenging. Familiar items like a toothbrush or comb can cause confusion, and performing routine activities may feel overwhelming. As a caregiver, you have the opportunity to make a significant difference by using the CARES® Approach. This approach helps guide you in providing the right support, making dementia activities of daily living easier and more manageable, while also preserving the person’s dignity and sense of independence.

Eating

Maintaining good nutrition is key to health, but dementia can make eating feel unfamiliar. With the CARES® Approach, you can help the person continue enjoying their meals, ensuring they get the nutrition they need, even in later stages of Alzheimer’s. This is an important aspect of dementia activities of daily living.

Dressing

As dementia progresses, knowing how much help to provide can be tricky. By understanding the person’s abilities at each stage, you can support them in dressing by turning it into a meaningful, guided activity. Familiarity and comfort can make all the difference.

Grooming

Grooming routines like brushing hair or shaving may seem simple, but they can be important for maintaining dignity. With dementia, the person may need more assistance, but you can help them retain a sense of normalcy by allowing them to do as much as possible.

Bathing

Bathing can be both relaxing and overwhelming. To ease any discomfort, make sure the environment feels calm and familiar. If the person resists, consider alternatives like sponge baths, keeping them clean and comfortable without added stress.

Mouth Care

Proper oral hygiene helps prevent infections, but dementia can make mouth care feel uncomfortable or confusing. Use the CARES® Approach to provide gentle, familiar support, ensuring the person’s comfort and oral health.

Using the Bathroom

As dementia progresses, using the bathroom independently may no longer be possible. A respectful, patient approach helps maintain dignity and comfort while preventing infections and other health issues. The CARES® Approach ensures you provide the right support at every stage.

Person-Centered Personal Care

Person-centered care for dementia is all about knowing someone’s preferences and using them to make their daily routine smoother. Here’s an example—there’s a person who showers in the morning, never at night. He starts his day with coffee and loves feeding the birds outside. If you’re his caregiver and you know this, you can use it to your advantage.

Many caregivers struggle with people refusing to bathe. But the first question should be: When do they usually shower? If someone tried to bathe him at night, he would resist—because he already showered in the morning. But if you scheduled it for his preferred time, there’d be no issue. And if you made him coffee first? Even better.

This approach applies to every aspect of personal care. Some people love showers, while others feel cleaner after a bath. For someone with dementia, forcing them into a shower when they’re used to baths can cause distress. It’s not just about keeping them clean—it’s about providing a routine that feels comfortable and familiar. By using dementia personal care strategies, caregivers can tailor each task to fit the person’s unique needs and preferences.

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