C – Connecting with the person

C – Connect with the Person

“Connect with the person” is the first step in the CARES® Approach to dementia care. To truly connect with someone living with dementia, it helps to know a bit about who they are—their likes, their memories, and what makes them feel at ease. Once you understand that, you can choose a way to connect that fits both the person and the moment.

Keeping the Connection Going

In daily caregiving, it’s not just about saying hello and starting a task. It’s about building a connection and keeping it going through every step of the interaction. This is one of the key parts of communication in dementia care—staying present, gentle, and personal.

Let’s say you’re helping Mr. X get dressed. A good way to begin is by bringing up something familiar or comforting—maybe a walk you both took recently. You might say, “Remember our walk the other day? We saw that big tree near the river.” Or you could look at his feet and gently ask, “How do your feet feel? Are they cold? Let’s get some socks and shoes on.”

This kind of simple, friendly talk is what makes communication in dementia care effective. It keeps the person calm, engaged, and feeling safe.

As you continue helping him, keep that connection alive by asking questions about things that matter to him. For example:

Do you like walks?
What is your favorite tree?
Did you ever go boating on a river?
Do you know anyone who likes to go bird watching?

These small conversations are more than just chit-chat—they’re powerful tools in communication in dementia care. They help the person feel seen, respected, and comforted—and that’s what real emotional care is all about.

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Adjust Your Approach

When interacting with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease or a related form of dementia, it’s essential to focus on their abilities—not just their limitations. Every person experiences dementia differently, and your approach should reflect what they can still do, feel, and enjoy.

Adjusting to Their Abilities

People living with dementia often experience gradual changes in memory, communication, and daily functioning. As a caregiver or loved one, adjusting your expectations and communication style makes a big difference. Before interacting, think about what you know of their current abilities. Are they still responsive to music? Do they recognize certain faces or enjoy simple routines? These clues help you shape meaningful and supportive interactions.

It’s important to remember that just because someone can no longer speak clearly doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy themselves. Smile, body language, and emotional responses are still powerful forms of expression. Even nonverbal individuals may enjoy activities like listening to music, folding towels, or sitting in the garden.

The Importance of a Person-Centered Approach

Every interaction should be guided by empathy and flexibility. Speak slowly, maintain eye contact, and use simple language. Pay attention to their responses—verbal or nonverbal—and adjust as needed. When someone is confused or frustrated, a calm and reassuring tone can go a long way.

Supporting someone with dementia also means allowing them to participate in tasks they’re still capable of. Break down activities into smaller steps. If they can’t complete a task on their own, assist just enough to help them succeed without taking over entirely. These small wins help maintain confidence and dignity.

Understanding Dementia Progression

Not all types of dementia progress in the same way. Alzheimer’s disease, for example, typically moves through gradual stages. However, it isn’t always clear when one stage ends and the next begins. A person might show signs of different stages at once or move back and forth in ability from day to day.

This unpredictability means caregivers must stay flexible. What works one day may not work the next—and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection but presence. Being there with patience and understanding matters more than getting everything “right.”

Every Moment Matters

People with dementia may lose some abilities, but they don’t lose the need for connection, joy, and purpose. Simple, familiar activities can bring comfort and create moments of shared joy. These moments—no matter how small—add up to a better quality of life.

By adjusting your approach, focusing on remaining strengths, and staying open to change, you can support someone with dementia in meaningful and respectful ways.

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